Up Early

Yep, I'm up early again. The house is quite. Like the calm before the storm.

I'm enjoying it though. The next week proves to be a busy one - Catholic Schools week kicks off on Sunday with a breakfast at the Legion (which we are required to help out at) and proceeds all week with various activities each day - ending with Saturday making Potato and Chili soup for the "Soup-er Bowl Sale." It should be fun being with other parents - Grandparents day on Tuesday, clown on Wed, rollerskating on Friday.....but throw in my school schedule (and the fact that my laundry isn't all folded and put away yet - oh, and the pro-bowl is this weekend, son reminded me! - and I think it'll be B-U-S-Y!!

I've got everything made for the last christmas party today - but this morning will consist of clean-up (I trashed the kitchen yesterday!) and laundry AND getting everyone in the shower or bath. Yep, seven people to get ready - whew, some days.....

Day off = BUSY!!!

Wow, today was my "day off" -HA!

I went to a dental cleaning, got a free toothbrush, wahoo!

Then went tanning - oh, so toasty warm. I can't wait to have one of my own (maybe!!)

Then proceeded to mom and dad's to pick up my two babies and eat a light lunch - 1 egg, 1 toast and 3 strips of bacon. Saving room for beer-battered fish and fried curds!

Then made the bank payment, brought the girls home, laid the baby down for a nap and helped daughter #3 make brownies. When we were done with that, I made apple crisp, twice baked potatoes and hamb. stroganoff (for Christmas tomorrow - the last one - yay!)

Then I got baby up from her nap and took her to her 18 month check up. She is growing like a weed and is about the size of an average 3-3 1/2 year old. The most amazing part though, is that the doc was THRILLED with her cognitive abilities. Numerous times she was astounded at the way she was able to understand and predict what was happening, and how well she was able to communicate with adults. Of course, being her parents, we knew she was smart, but to hear from the doc that most 4 year olds don't have the abilities SHE has - AWESOME!!!! I can't describe the amount of pride I feel!! She got her MMR shots - and if you know me at all, you know that we delay shots due to daughter #1 immune problems when she was young - so all is looking well there.

So, we came home from the appointment and I finished picking up the kitchen and packing the food away and we are just waiting for Hubby's brother and SIL and nephew to come over - for the fish and fried curds, remember!???

Tax day

Others dread it, I love it. Today I get to go and see my tax man! Wahoo! I usually forget something, so I am trying to get it all under control so he can do it right away. I even got mine scheduled before my OCD friend, mom, brother and BFF -hehehe, I rock! (Naw, I just need the money!)

Yesterday went great - I got all done that I wanted to and more! (the "more" was an apple pie - and I limited myself to one piece for desert! yay for me!)

Oh, and my SIL is doing a weight loss challenge and I'm participating, so I *may* have some crazy things in store for me over the next few days. I am a day behind her, so yesterday she posted "drink as much water as possible" - so that's my goal for today.

I am thinking of how to address a family member who suffers depression issues, but refuses to even take med's of any kind. She had PPD in the past. She seems to be (especially lately) heading towards a breakdown. But she refuses help. Much more is going on than that. But what to do. She "acts" happy, but makes snide remarks to people. She seems to be very envious of what others have and unable to be satisfied with what she has. BTW: she is a self-professed "Christian." She puts forth an effort to help others in a public setting, but looks down at her own family members. I don't know what to do that would help her......

Day off

Today is an unexpected day off.

I have decided that it will be a day of "serving my family."

I will finish laundry and dishes. Clean house. Bake lots of goodies (cookies - healthy ones, of course! and homemade cinnamon bread on request of Son - who said that the bread maker didn't make it like I do! - and a healthy supper.)

Lots to do before the sun goes down!

Tomorrow I meet with the tax man. YAY - we NEED the tax refund. Things are getting REALLY tight again - and it will provide us with some wiggle-room. The Lord always provides though, so I must be patient.

I started tanning yesterday. YES, TANNING!! It is for medicinal purposes though. Yep, I have a doctor's note!! My psoriasis is getting really bad and the Vitamin D from the tanning beds have HUGELY benefited those in my situation. I also am trying a new homemade lotion - yep, I don't like to start only one thing at a time, must be more!!

Keeping things in perspective.

This is a year of change for ME, personally. I can feel it. I can taste it. Things are changing.

This year, (not a New Year's Resolution - I started BEFORE the new year!) I have decided to keep things in perspective many different ways.

First: bringing God into my life on a more regular, constant basis. We go to Mass EVERY Sunday, without fail, but I need more prayer. I need the guidance that comes with it - I need the ability to make decisions that are based on what what my family and I need - not what we want (which can be a very difficult thing, but many blessings come from it.)

Second: bring the truth to people. I want people to see Christ in me. This means many things - including (but not limited to:) sharing what we have with others (giving), being truthful (not mean, but HONEST).....more to come on this later!

Third: to open my eyes and be thankful for all the Lord has given us. This can be hard sometimes, especially when money and time is tight. BUT, there is sooo much that Hubby and I have been given that you just can't "explain away." Things come to us when they are needed - they just appear. I want to start documenting what we are given, so I can look back on those hard days and see how blessed we are.

Blessings:
~Daughter #1 - full YEAR scholarship for piano
~running low on beef - received WHOLE cow!
~money is getting tight - appt w/tax guy on Wed.
~washer went out - had CASH for new one thanks to Hubby's "extra" job

Family

It's all that matters.

Family.

Extended or immediate - family is what matters.

Sometimes "family" extends to close friends too.

Tonight was an AWESOME time with lots of OUR family. Getting together when we can - letting the cousins play - having supper together, talking, laughing, jokes, stories.....what could be better? No holds barred - no cross words - no "grouping" off into subgroups. Just fun. With family.

We are blessed. Let me not forget that - EVER.

God bless our family, near or far. Here or gone.

We have awesome family - we are blessed.

My mother-in-law

I miss her.

Dear Lord, do I miss her.

She wasn't perfect, but she was kind and caring. She would give you anything - even if it meant SHE went without. She remembered her kids' birthday. She called. She cared about everybody - and she meant it. She didn't just talk - she DID. She walked the walk. You could believe what she said because she was the type of person that didn't just talk to hear herself speak! When she talked with you, it was NOT me, me, me or "I this, I that" - it was almost always about others - who was having a difficult time, who was having a new baby, who she was praying for..... Church was MUST in her life - Jesus came first, with the family a close second. No excuses for her - nope - she just DID - not perfectly, she would be the first to admit - but she tried her hardest.

I miss her.

I continue to pray that someday my father-in-law is able to find someone as honest and giving as she was.

Love you and miss you!

Company

We just had a nice visit with my SIL, nephew and her parents. I wish it could have been longer though - but I know that they had limited time and I was lucky to even see them.

They had a safe, uneventful trip up and I pray that the same goes for their trip home tomorrow. SIL's dad is a minister - and I forget that I could sit and listen to him for a long time (days?! lol). He got me thinking about some issues and I wish that I would have had more time to sit and chat and ask him some more questions......maybe I'll have to e-mail him for some "counsel!"

We are so blessed with all that God had brought into our lives. Things (yes, money included) seem to appear out of thin air when we need them most. Friends and family - even though we may not agree about EVERYTHING all of the time - are always there and ready to support each other.

Case in point: Hubby had been working a "for cash" job and we saved all of the money from it and were thinking of using the money to take a trip to Texas to visit BIL and SIL and Nephew or maybe out to the Dakotas or D.C. - well - the Lord knew that we would need that money to buy a new washer - so the day before Christmas Eve, we bought a new high-efficiency washer - but hey, we had the CASH - so he gave us $80 off and now it looks like we will probably get a $100 energy starr rebate from it too. So, the Lord is good and he watches out for us.

But now it's time for Mass and I have lots of people to pray for (myself included) so, more for another day!

Kinda mad...

Yep, kinda ticked-off this morning. Only had good experiences with Freecycle up until now.

Last night I replied to a post. She replied that I was first, but was only holding it for so long. I replied within 45 MINUTES....I saw that it was taken and said thanks for the quick pickup - but I never heard back from her. I e-mailed her this morning about picking up and she said nope, it gone. REALLY? 45 MINUTES wasn't fast enough? Yeah, not real happy. I'll get over it - but good grief, some people! You can bet two things: first, I will NEVER respond to anything she posts again (I wouldn't want to get my hopes up and have then crashed down) AND I will not pass anything of mine onto her. Period.

So onto brighter things - or not? My plan of waking at 6 in the morning is going well - now if the kids would stay sleeping so that I could work-out right away - that would be nice!

So much that I would like to contemplate on here - writing has always been an outlet for me - we will see.....but for now, it's time to get kiddos up and off to school - half the fun of being a SAHM is being able to do the girl's hair in the mornings - maybe that's why God blessed us with so many girls?!

Another day....

School is going well. I love my instructor - we are kindred spirits. She is even writing a letter of recommendation for me. Should be an "easy" semester - well, as easy as 8 credits in science classes can be!

I was looking forward to Christmas this weekend - our last one for the season. But I found out that an "extra" person will be there that I hadn't known about. Not real thrilled. Asking my Lord for much forgiveness and for me to hold my tongue. I think of Thumper: "If you can't say something nice, don't say nothin' at all. " Yep, I might be quiet this weekend!

On the other hand, I am thrilled that my SIL, BIL, Nephew and her folks are coming up this weekend. The time with her folks will be limited, as they need to get home, but SIL, BIL and Nephew will be home for three weeks! Praise God for family! The kids are thrilled to be seeing them again, and if they had it their way, they'd be staying here! (arrangements have been made for them to stay at FIL's house - although, one never knows - plans can change!)

Daughter #3 is thrilled with her babysitter. Tuesdays and Thursdays I have school in the mornings, but wouldn't be able to make it back in time to get her off the bus, so she's going to Son's friend's house (his mom does in-home daycare). There are 3 other children from her class that go there, so she is soooo happy to be there playing with them! When I picked her up yesterday, she was almost in tears because she didn't have enough "time" there! I had even went grocery shopping, knowing that if I came too early it would upset her! Oh, and did I mention that this wonderful Christian (catholic) woman only charges me $1.50 an hour - lunch included?! Yeah, yay for us!!

Anyway, lots of chores to try to get done and I'm running out of time to do them!

School starts....

TOMORROW!

Yay! I am excited to be back to a more "normal" routine. I am excited to take a break from being a SAHM and to be Jessica again.


Tomorrow the Hubby and two oldest kiddos are going down to Volk Field to see their brother/uncle (respectively) back into the USA. All of them are extremely excited to do this. I think that it hit home the hardest when we found out that Uncle was slightly nervous about coming home this time, as "mom" wouldn't be there. She has always made it a point to be there when he gets off the plane - this year, Hubby has decided to step-up and be THAT person - the family member there for him. I am proud of him. There is so much that he has "stepped-up" and done since him mom has passed. Everything from trying to keep the family together - calling his dad and checking up on him, making sure that siblings got a phone call on their birthdays (even though his own dad forgot his!!), etc. He has matured a lot in the past year and a half - and it impresses me.

Family Day

Today is a family day. Well, we won't ALL be together....the older 4 children and I will be going to see "The Squeakquel" (for a Girl Scout adventure) and daddy and the baby (and pup) will be staying home and spending quality time together. Some days you just gotta be divided in order to be together!

This week has been pretty rough on me emotionally. I am glad that it is over. Trying to lead an honest life, while walking with Christ, can be hard. A lot can be asked of you. If you are truly wanting to do what the Lord asks.....well, sometimes he asks you to do difficult things. There were many things that happened this week that I DID do (that I had even told my mom I wouldn't be doing) but because the Lord expected it, I did it - and reaped the rewards too. When you do what the Lord asks of you, he rewards you - I don't do it to count the rewards - but I have learned that they always follow when I listen to him!

Second semester starts on Monday. Whew - I need the time back in school! Mom took Daughter #4 for awhile yesterday - what a help! She was being a pistol for me - but was a gem for her - go figure! It gave us time to get the house cleaned since we won't be home much today.

Giving

My New Year's Resolution:
To be more Christlike - to let others see Christ through me.

My Lord, Jesus Christ, is the ultimate giver - for he gave up his life for the sins of all people. He gave (and continues to give) people a second, third....and more.....chances to come to him. He associated with people that would be deemed "unpopular" in today's society.

He did this and soooo much more.

What HUGE footsteps to try to follow!

But I will try, with his help. He is already showing me this, and giving me tests -which I can honestly say that I am passing - I think (hope!). This year has been shown to me to be a year filled with grace - if I stop ignoring the little proddings and start following through on what is asked of me.

So I am making those contacts - I am sending those letters/cards. I am doing things that I decided, on my own, that I didn't want to do - but doing them anyway because my Lord asked me to. It's hard - to think that YOU know best, when in fact, you are being asked to be submissive. It is hard to listen to others speak badly - and not to respond in kind. But when all is said and all is done, I know that following my Lord will not only be a test of my faith - but it will be a lesson in giving....and receiving - as the more you give, the more you receive.

Death and Dying

I've been thinking about it. I've been reading about it. I've been living it.

Have you ever read "Tuesday's with Morrie?" If not, I HIGHLY recommend it. It's awesome. I won't even tell you what it's about. But it's a short read.

Another good one: "The Last Lecture." Have tissues handy. Both books will make you cry.

But, death is a part of life and life is a part of death. Each day we live, we are closer to the day we die. Is anyone ever ready for it? I'm not sure. Taking Morrie's advice though - I stop more frequently and smell the roses. I look for the little things. In this highly electronic socially acceptable age, we do less face-to-face contact and more texts and social networking.

It makes a person wonder. Just because you are a "friend"on my social network - what ARE you? Do you call me to see how I am doing? Do you send me a card in the mail on my birthday? Or are you glad when that social network "reminds" you it's my birthday so that you can write a message on my home page? I'm guilty of it myself, I know.

But, we are human beings - we need contact - interaction with REAL PEOPLE.

So....this is how it works (for me, in my mind):

When I die, don't come to my funeral if you haven't seen me - or sent me a card - or done something more substantial than e-mail or message me. If that is the only way you know me anymore....it's not enough. I don't want that. I want you to care while I'm alive. Not when I am dead. When I am dead, you can pray for me - but don't make a show of how you knew me "back then."

I'm in agreement with my grandma: Don't spend money on flowers when I'm dead (what a waste!), instead, give them to me while I'm alive - so that's what I do - take my grandma flowers. Sometimes "just because" and sometimes for a reason. Sunday night she got flowers (in lieu of sending them to the funeral home) and I told her these were because she's my uncle's mom. I think that meant more than any flower/gift/plant I could have sent.

Along those same lines, no big shows. My funeral is not the time to "go all out" and spend more money than necessary. Nope. Don't do it. As a matter of fact, I think when I die, I would prefer that only my immediate family be there. They have been raised in the Lord and nothing that anyone could say compares to the fact that they would know that I was resting with Our Lord. I think that it would ease my soul to know that there weren't people there that were using my death to get sympathy for themselves.

Death. It's a sad thing for the living. But for those that have gone before us and now live with Christ....well, what could compare?

My Uncle passed

After a 3 year battle with cancer, my uncle passed.

It's sad. But good. At least he's not in pain anymore.

People are weird though. My mom has said she's not going. Yes, it's her brother - but they weren't on speaking terms. Long story. Not mine to tell. Not mine to judge.

It kills me though - that some of the family thinks that they can judge her. REALLY? It's HER choice. He doesn't care - he's dead people! Hello! And to discuss stuff in a public forum - nope - it's wrong. If you have issues with someone - you go to THEM and tell THEM - you don't post about it all over online. Grow up. 'Nough said.

You asked for it!

You asked for it, so here it is. My "personal" blog.

YIKES! Why do I succumb to peer pressure so easily?

Am I THAT exciting that I deserve to write only about myself and my family?

Well, ok then....here goes! :)

I can't sleep. It's almost five in the morning and I have decided to just stay up (oh yeah, and disregard the time/date stamp....I have not figured out how to change it. It is currently 4:56 a.m. and the darn thing says 2:35!). The five hours that I've already gotten must have been enough (?)!! Well, I can always take a nap later in the day. In the morning, however, it is off to school to pick up my books for the next semester - it starts next week! Where did the time go? Microbiology and Advanced Anatomy and Physiology, for those of you interested. Eight credits. Yep, not an overachiever here!

Yesterday our priest left to visit his family - for four weeks. He is from India - so he only goes home one time a year (the round-trip airplane ticket is $1000!!). Son saw him leaving and announced it to the family. Daughter #3 immediately broke down. Seriously! Tears and the whole bit. Lasted for about 15 minutes too! Poor little thing. Through the sobbing I was able to decipher that she understands that Father misses his family and he needs to go home to see them, but she is going to miss him. Poor, poor kiddo!

Daughter #1 came down with the flu yesterday - so we weren't even able to say good-bye to Father. We will e-mail him though and let him know that we are thinking and praying for him. Especially praying. I really hope he doesn't get the flu! Hubby and Son took Father to the local dairy on Saturday for cheese curds. Daughter #3 was sick New Year's Eve....me the next day....hubby that night....Daughter #1 yesterday - looks like a trend. I can only pray that the rest of the kiddos stay well. In the midst of all of this, I do thank the Lord though. Glad that Hubby got sick when he did, because he will be better tomorrow for work.

Yesterday, around three p.m., my uncle died. He was also my godfather. Bittersweet. Thanking God for the time that he had and that he is no longer in pain - but also knowing that his two girls are in lots of pain. The death of a loved one is hard - a parent is worse. My mother-in-law has been gone for 2 years this July. Most days, it still just feels like she is on a short vacation with my father-in-law (an over-the-road trucker - a few times a year she would ride with him on some longer trips). I still pick up the phone to call to tell her about a new milestone that one of the kids has met, or a new sewing project I'm doing, or to tell her what one of the kids said or did....or just to chat. I haven't actually dialed the phone in a long time - so I guess that it is easing some. In the first year - there were many times that I would actually pick up the phone and begin to dial the number before I would remember.

I think that the holidays may be harder just because it's "the time" to get together. I still find myself coming up with ideas for her gifts for her to get for the kids and Hubby. Mother's day is a hard one too - less because of celebrating it with her - but more because she had always given a gift to each of the girls - daughter or daughter-in-law - on Mother's Day telling us that we were the mother's to her grandchildren! She was indeed a special lady.